


The Alternate Universe AU

by PanPacificPines



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe Alternate Universe, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-24 01:05:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4899619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanPacificPines/pseuds/PanPacificPines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper and Mabel Pines grew up with imaginary friends their whole lives. The problem is, not only are they not imaginary, they're each other. Separated by a dimensional boundary, each is able to see and hear the other in their own version of reality, but not interact in any other way. Problematically, no one ever believed them when they said they had a sibling. A trip to Gravity Falls the summer before they turn thirteen acts as a sort of retreat when they're caught chatting late one night. Though it just might change things for the rest of their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

“I won’t hear another word about it, young lady. You’re packing up your things and spending some quality time with your Grunkle Stan for the summer.”

“I know that you haven’t seen him in years, but I promise he misses you and wants to spend some quality time with his favorite grandnephew. Besides it’ll be a chance for you to make some new friends and maybe even go on some adventures like in those books of yours.”  
“-You’ll think of all new sweater patterns and you’ll get to see all sorts of weird stuff. Like, I dunno, giant beavers or something. He’s always up to something over there. Look, honey, I know this is new for you but we’re not upset and this is not a punishment. Okay? It’s just that we think a girl your age needs some fresh air and sunshine, okay?”  
Dipper glanced to his left, judging the expression on his friend’s face. It was almost like looking at someone through a screen door, or looking at your own reflection in a window, you had to focus just right to see them clearly or you’d miss it. She must have been getting the same lecture as he was and he definitely didn’t want to have to travel to another state where he probably couldn’t hear her, much less see her. He mouthed the words “Gravity Falls” and her face shot from glum to downright Mabel-y in an instant before returning to the cemented on frown she had on moments before, turning back to face her lecture head on.

Was she getting shipped off there too? He’d have to wait until their parents left before asking.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Oh my gosh, Brotato!” Mabel motioned as though she were shaking him by the shoulders. Dipper played along, pretending to be shaken as a thin smile trying to expand even further on his face.

“Hey, hey, calm down, before they come back and decide we’re better off in a looney bin, okay?” It’d been 2 hours before they decided to sit up out of their beds, which they’d placed on opposite walls and sat down in the middle of their shared floor. They’d listened carefully for creeks in the floor boards and made sure to listen for snores, which their father-fathers? had always ensured to provide them with, so their conversations could be held in secret. Admittedly they’d been under cautious earlier in the night but it had totally worked out! Mabel had been beaming at him for at least the last hour and fifty minutes while he pretended to be asleep for most of that time.

“They told me that there’s tons of wilderness out there in Oregon, so I bet we can find all kinds of alone time out there to hang!” she practically squealed. Dipper waited for the telltale snore before vocalizing his reply.

“I hope so, Mabes. It sounded to me like he’d want to put us to work in a gift shop or something?”  
“Really? Well, my dude sounds like some old Indiana Jones guy. All sorts of outdoor exploring stuff, pinecones, squirrels, goats and junk.”  
Dipper smiled at the girl. She was like a ghostly image to him and had been since, well, forever. They laced their fingers together as best as they could. It didn’t matter if nobody else believed him. She was real and one day he’d find a way to be with her. She was the only friend he needed. She always understood him, even when he was crying and didn’t want anyone else to know. “-hey, dorko. Whatchoo thinkin’ about over there? You’re doing that daydream biz again.”

“Nothin’ sis, Just looking forward to the trip. You know, I think the ‘rents might be right. I -we needed this.”  
“Aww, shucks, sir Dippington. I don’t think I can sleep tonight. You?”

He chuckled to himself and waggled a finger at her with a smirk on his face. “When have I ever been able to sleep? Keep me company?”

“Of course. I even have the perfect new sweater design for the trip.” She glowed, beaming at him for a moment before running to her knitting supplies. She didn’t have to wait for a response from him. Truthfully she never needed to. He’d casually picked up his newest Sibling Brothers book and splayed out on top of his blankets, glancing over at his other self every now and then as she worked at blinding speed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Before the sun was up she’d managed to get enough of it done that Dipper could already make out the design on the front. It was a shooting star in front of a field of stars with his Birthmark in high contrast silvery yarn over the blue of the rest of the garment. He knew that she’d have all the stars bedazzled before they’d have to leave for their trip. She was drooling on her pillow, splayed out underneath a pile of yarn. “She’d want it to be a surprise” he thought to himself, and smiled at how special that made him feel. He’d pretend to have not seen it until she made the grand unveiling. This was going to be a good summer.


	2. Chapter 1: The Bus ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The longest bus ride either of them has ever had to take keeps Dipper and Mabel entertained on their ride to the odd, out of the way backwoods of Gravity Falls. It's a short chapter just to set things up, though a bit longer than the drabble length of the prologue.

The bus ride was actually a lot better than either of them could have planned on. Considering their family, well, families’ penchant for arriving early for everything, it wasn’t difficult to claim the best seat on the bus for themselves. All things considered, most adults are pretty wary of sitting that close to a child all spread out on a bench seat by themselves for a long ride. Even fewer were willing to risk it when that very child seemed to have a healthy and vocal relationship with the invisible person sitting next to them on the seat. An old guy, one of the last to board the bus tried to sit in the seat right in front of them until, to Dipper’s dismay, he followed in Mabel’s lead and made a series of prolonged fart sounds. “Oh, come on, Dippin’ dots. You’re never even gonna see these people again, so what’s the point of being embarrassed?” She seemed to ask the plush wombat on the seat next to her. 

“It’s not about choosing my reaction, Mabe, it’s just that nervous and sweaty come naturally to me. Besides, everyone at home already thinks I’m crazy, so eventually there’s gonna be a saturation point, y'know? Where there are more people in the Dipper is crazy camp than there are in the…not …crazy cam- the point is that caution can’t hurt!” He’d already unfolded his lap top on the seat and turned it to face him before he actually responded verbally.It might have been awkward to be taking up the same space as a plush marsupial if he could even see it, but it did help at least keep a small barrier of safety around their relationship and truth be told, Mabel knew that. 

“Yeah, bro, who could possibly think a kid talking to their best friend, slash imaginary friend, slash twin sister, slash possibly much cooler girl version of himself could be anything more than a dangerous lunatic?” she teased.  
“Exactly!"   
"You’re not helping, Dippity Doo.” she accented her point by blowing a raspberry at him.  
“Not my job to help. I KNOW I’m crazy, but at least I’ve got good company, cuz I’m pretty sure you’re worse than I am.” He returned the childish gesture. They traded raspberries back and forth until they couldn’t help but laugh it out.  
“Well, either way, I’m excited, Sir Dippingmire. A whole summer to ourselves!”  
“Yeah, just us, and our crusty old Grunkle, the rest of the weird little town he lives in, and everyone all of those people have in their cell phones and-”  
“Yeesh! Alright already! I mean, my point is just, why does that matter? Can you just tell me that so we can leave that biz behind us in good ol’ Cali? I don’t feel like our vacation needs to be all stressful and weird.”  
“Well…it…”  
“Yeeeees?”  
“I -Honestly I don’t know, I just feel like it matters what people think about me.”  
“This is why you fail, young Skywalker!” She contorted herself practically upside down as she did her best Yoda impression while crossing her eyes and twisting her index fingers against her cheeks. Even Dipper couldn’t last against that kind of onslaught for long and broke down into ugly laughter while Mabel jabbed at him in all of his ticklish spots. Despite the fact that they couldn’t make actual physical contact with each other, they could always swear that there was enough of a tingle when they really gave into the connection that they really could feel it and that was enough. “Okay! Okay! Mercy! Mercy!” Dipper fell off the bench seat in a giggle fit and held up a hand, begging for peace.“Tell you what” she held up her tickle fingers, menacingly wiggling them about. “You do your very best to stop worrying about looking like a total psycho and I’ll embarrass you just slightly less…in public."   
"okay, okay, that’s probably the best deal I’m going to get.” He reached up for one of her hands, miming for her to help him up.  
“Yer dang right there.” She mimed helping him back up onto the seat. “And that is a Mabel brand guarantee."   
They passed the following hours playing madlibs and telling story rounds. Mabel filled in as many of the noun spots as possible with "butts” and “cute butts” and “really cute boy butts” which made for some “interesting” games. The story rounds were a bit more to Dipper’s liking. She passed more than half the rounds back to him while she lay down on the seat and drew scenes out of the stories he’d come up with, even if they didn’t originally have rainbow laser unicorns in them the way he told them. “I can never decide whether the rainbows should come out of the front or the back of the Unicorns, so we’re going with both for this one. Also, would you say our two heroes would have eastern style swords or western?”  
“Well, as I recall, you said Lady Mabeltina would have an electric battle banjo with actual electricity.”  
“Duh-doi, but you don’t go charging into combat with just one weapon type. You’re just asking to get ganked by a bunch of level 1 skeletons or ghouls that way. Also, how do you feel about Sir Dip or Dipmoore Hall wielding a giant tuning fork, but it’s also like the kind of fork you eat with?”  
“Huh. Fair point. Yeah. I guess I’m good with it in theory, but wouldn’t that make me-err, him look like a borrower or something? You know, those little people?”  
“Like a gnome?”  
“No, like in proportion with a human, like you just shrunk them down to a couple inches tall. Gnomes just kinda creep me out. Their heads are way too big for their bodies. They’re like weird goblin babies or something.”  
“I dunno. I think they’re kinda cute-dorable. Like cuddly little old men.”  
“Ehh, to each their own, I guess. But, uhh, I guess European style swords kinda jive better with the world we’ve been creating, so those, but Maybe I could also have a mace?”  
“You don’t wanna load up too much there, bro. Carrying capacity.”  
“How is it I still have no idea how you’ve gotten so deep into RPGs lately? But anyway, it doesn’t have to be too big, I could totally wear it on my hip opposite the sword. Just in case of skeletons.”  
“Oh, alright, fine. You do have a point. But I swear, if you cram one more thing into the saddlebags I’m taking Brindleford Esquire Aloicious Smithers Tremblington the Third and going on my own adventure.”  
“Okay, okay. Jeeze. Who knew unicorns had such complicated names?”  
“The Unicorns are what did it for me. Your dork words were not helping.”  
“Heavens forbid.”  
“They’d better! If I see graph paper I’m gonna burn it!”   
Once they grew bored with creativity they decided to veg out on bad movies for the rest of the trip. They could get away with bringing completely different DVDs with them on the trip just as long as their other half held the portable dvd player or laptop close. It helped if they essentially sat in the very same spot on the bench so they could get the best audio. Of course the image was blurry, like watching a tv through another tv, but that wasn’t the point. They got to spend this time together and go over the old classics they both knew well. Classics such as “Zombie Robot Massacre part 4: Election Season”, and “Dogbat: The Battening”.   
Once they passed the sign saying “Now Entering Gravity Falls?” they each packed up their bags. The directions they’d been given said it was only another 5 minute drive from there, and there were enough signs pointing to the mystery shack to make walking there an easy task. Even the bus they’d rode in on had several “What is the Mystery Shack?” bumper stickers plastered to it. Clearly more had once been there and had been pried off, but judging by the different fading patterns on the left over adhesive, the bus company had given up a while ago. “Well, I’m sure that’s a good sign” Dipper groaned, quirking a single eyebrow up as the bus pulled off.   
“I think it’s fun! Vandalism is like art, but for everywhere!”   
“Equally illuminating” Dipper sighed. “Alright, it’s supposed to be just a mile down the road here. Should give us enough time to figure things out.”

Once the shack finally came into sight, Mabel whined. “I’m tiiiiiired. Tiiiiiiiired. Carry me, Dip!”  
“Heh, wouldn’t even if I could.”  
“You are the worst alternate dimension clone I’ve ever had.” She teased.   
"Likewise, May May. Besides, I’d wind up carrying you, get a hernia and pass out, while you got a second wind and ran around like a lunatic for the rest of the day!“  
"You know me so well!” She shouted as she took off in a bolt down the dirt road, running for several seconds before calling back “RACE YOU!”  
“Oh! Cheater! Cheater!” He exclaimed as he pulled his rolling luggage behind him. She still easily made it to the door well ahead of him despite the oversized camping backpack over her shoulders and the suitcase she lugged in either hand.   
Once he actually did show up at the door, he refocused his eyes and popped his ears so it’d be easier to both see and hear things in his own reality by tuning out Mabel’s world just a bit. He took a minute to catch his breath as his run slowed down into a jog and then an easy walk, which then of course segued into huffing and panting in front of the door for another 3 minutes before going to knock on the weather beaten old wooden door. Though his knuckles never actually connected with the surface because as he made the motions the door swung in as though it had a mind of its own and suddenly a crazed madman was in the door frame.

“Are you with the government!? Have you come to take my eyes!? I don’t know anything about any missing cattle!” The old man shouted, leveling a futuristic looking gun right in between his eyes, a single red dot of a laser scope painting its mark on his forehead. Dipper could swear that a clap of thunder and bolt of lightning filled the inside of the house as the overcoat clad man shouted at him, stepping forward and forcing Dipper back out and down the staircase as he stammered.

“No! No! I’m just -I’m only twelve! I’m supposed to be staying here for the summer! My parents sent me to stay with my Grunkle Stan! I don’t-”  
“Enough of your lies!” The lights on the side of the gun came to life as a whirring sound filled the air and a cylinder towards the rear of the device spun faster and faster, the old lunatic’s finger pressing ever more firmly down on the trigger as the sound grew louder and louder. 

CLICK

Several rounds rattled out of the chamber, hitting him full on, one after the other.

Several Nyarf darts stuck to his forehead, cheeks and nose.  
“BWAAHAHAHAHA!! You should-You should see your face kid! You were like, HAHAHA, you were like ‘Bwaaaaahhh!?” The crazy older man struck a pose to mock Dipper, bending over to the side, one leg lifted in the air to protect his body, both hands covering his head before shaking with laughter and hunching over, one hand against the door frame to keep himself upright.

“Oh, jeeze, kid. Are you trying to kill me over here? That’s-that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. You seriously, you want a picture to remember this by?” He reached back into the shack and seemed to tap a few buttons on a keyboard then pulled out a photo of Dipper in the very same pose Stan had been mocking just moments before. 

“I installed the scare-cam a few seasons back and it has been NOTHIN’ BUT GOLD!” he shouted into the air.   
“Yeah, fine, okay, well, at least I know I’m definitely going to go gray early in life. Thanks, Grunkle Stan, I presume? Also, wait, how are these sticking to me?” he plucked one of the foam darts off of his cheek with an audible 'pop’ “Aren’t these just little plastic suction cups? How does that work?” 'pop’ “Oh yeah. Those. Yeah, Those were recalled years ago. Something about” and he used finger quotes for this one “peoples’ 'skin falling off’ and 'irresponsible product safety measures’ or whatever. Got 'em real cheap. Even got the gun to go along with it. Nerd that I bought it all from had it custom made. Yeah, you probably don’t want those to stay on your skin for too long.”

…….  
'POP-POP-POP-POP'   
Stan slapped his knee, half racked with laughter again. “Kid, this is gonna be a good summer. I can already tell, you’re definitely going to be a great minion.”  
“Wonderful.” He pulled his larger than necessary suitcase in through the gift shop door and was directed up the stairs to an attic bedroom that’d been set up for his stay. 

The door creaked open and he stepped inside, already ragged from his summer ordeal.  
“Oh, great, there’s a -”  
“GOOOOOAAAAAT!” The ghostly form of Mabel charged through him and cuddled the broken horned goat perching on top of the single bed in the middle of the room. Dipper waggled his pinky finger around in an ear, trying to clear the burst of energetic, sugar fueled madness out of his brain. She might have been one layer of reality separated from his own, but even that couldn’t drown out her exuberance. “I’m gonna call you Gompers!”   
“Mahhhhh”  
“Oh, you.”  
“Yup. That figures. Shoo, goat, shoo.” He flapped at the thing until it hopped out of the room. “So, turns out my Grunkle Stan is a total lunatic who gets his kicks trying to give people heart attacks.”  
“Whaaat? Pfft. No, he’s great! I got this puppy made of ice cream!”  
“What? Really?”  
“Buh, of course not bro. come on.”  
“Oh, well that’s-”  
“It’s just regular ice cream!” She held up an oversized glass with several scoops of vanilla and chocolate, topped in fudge, whipped cream and a cherry.  
"Well, yeah, par for the course there. So, anyway, you want left or right?“ He motioned towards the bed.   
"I’m feeling right. Tell you what, bro, why don’t I set up my side and you go meet the others? We’ll chat when you get back.” Her smile was sweet and honest enough to convince him without an argument.  
“Oh, fine, I’ll -Wait, what others?”  
“Oh, The other two people Grunkle Stan has working in the gift shop. One of 'em is Soos. Bet you can freak him out if you introduce yourself without anyone telling you who he is. He’s like a giant hairless gopher or something. I’m pretty sure he called me Maple. I’m gonna ride that one out, see where it goes. Could be a new nickname. He seems like a pretty cool guy. You’ll love him. Now get down there, you. Go make some friends, you creepy attic weirdo!” Mabel stuck her tongue out at him as she pushed the bed to stage right of the room, making light of her mocking.  
“Oh, alright, alright. Always good to use those psychic twin powers on someone new” the door clicked behind him as he descended the stairs and rounded the corner. “Wait, she said two others? Who’s the- Woah.”  
Seemingly in slow motion, a statuesque redhead, her face generously peppered with freckles, shook loose her waist length locks before crowning herself with a fur hat and she turned a bright, cheerful smile to him. “Hey dude, I’m Wendy. Nice to meet you.”

“Woah, yeah….this, this is gonna be a good summer” he mumbled under his breath as he took her hand. 

“Come again?”  
"Oh! Uh, My-I mean, Dipper! I’m, my name that is, it’s that, Dipper is me! Hi! Yes.“She stifled a chuckle, covering her mouth with one hand.   
"Okay, dude, well I’m gonna be chilling here with you for the summer. I work here in the shop for the old man. I think this will be a good summer, right?” she winked and gave him a punch to one shoulder before shuffling off back to whatever task she was busying herself with before he had come down.   
“Yeah….yeah, good summer” He said, rubbing his shoulder where she’d hit him, backing up towards the stairs again.  
“Woah, romantic moment.”  
“AAAAUUUGH!” Dipper flailed, swinging around to face some sort of giant man-baby in a question mark t-shirt.   
“Jeeze, Soos, you’re gonna give me a heart attack!”  
“Hah, yeah, sorry about that. Ninja like stealth is in my nature. I’m Soo- Oh hey! Yeah, I’m Soos! You got it in one. Woah, like, that was some guess, dood. Or are you like some kind of Psychic?”

Dipper thought on that one for a second. “Psychic. Definitely Psychic.”  
Yeah, this could be fun.


	3. Chapter 2: The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this is a tad lengthy. The twins have their first real taste of the culture of Gravity Falls and find themselves making new friends while they're at it.

Despite the separation of their dimensions, Dipper and Mabel’s realities were almost completely identical. The people of their worlds tended to be unchanged from one side to another, as did actual geographical locations. Buildings and streets were in the same places, kids went to the same schools, ate the same foods and even wore the same clothes on most days. It was so eerily similar the twins could actually negotiate the same crowds in the school cafeteria or the mall and dodge around the exact same people in the exact same places.

Occasionally they’d notice something was off, such as gas prices being slightly higher on one side, or at least the stations would change the signs at different times. Sometimes radios would play different songs before getting back in sync. Any small changes did tend to be fairly temporary or superficial. Dipper had always surmised that it must mean that their worlds may have split off from each other at some point in the past, or were in some sort of resonance with each other and would actually combine in the future. Maybe that it was the few differences, such as the twins being different that kept them apart. Twelve-year-olds tend towards self important thoughts like that fairly often. Mabel’s theories, when she bothered to think about it, often involved ghost pirates or space unicorns. Sometimes both. It usually sidetracked fairly quickly though.  
As a point of fact, their parents not only lived in the same exact house, at the same exact address with the same exact knick knacks on the same exact shelves, but they were in fact the same exact people. Same names, same faces, same birthdays, same jobs. Their jobs were identical despite the dimensional boundary as well. It was also fair to say that Mabel took after their father, while Dipper tended after their mother. They might even decide to follow in their footsteps when they grow up. As for jobs, their mother is an investigative reporter for a national news station. Before the kids were born she cut her teeth on some of the most important exposés of corruption in corporate America. She uncovered countless abuses of political power. Time and time again she’d turned down offers to take a spot on an anchor desk. Always saying that the minute her face became well known is the minute her leads would dry up. It was always pushed back as one of those goals for when the kids were in college and she wanted to settle into an easier life. There would also be no shortage of income from book deals simply on what could recall off of the top of her head. Her life hasn’t lacked for adventure. Dipper learned as much as he could from her techniques every chance he got, and lived out quests for truth in his own mind whenever he read a Sibling Brothers book. In his dreams he was always the ace detective who sleuthed out the clues for one big mystery or another.

Mabel, on the other hand, learned her crafty ways at her father’s side. An engineer by trade, he’d met their mother on one of her early assignments, years ago. Thanks to his tutelage Mabel knew how to piece together a circuit board or disassemble a radio in her sleep. The obvious result of course was electronic clothing. Be it a sweater that lit up and played music, or shone with enough luminosity to light up a cave, or perhaps the underground lair of a mad scientist. He mostly stayed home so the kids would have a stable home life while their mother was doing her investigations, and as a result, he often watched cartoons with Mabel. Perhaps upwards of 30 hours a week on average. Though he wasn’t above taking apart old stuffed animals to turn them into mechanical monstrosities for her delight. Teddy bears that launched missiles out of their paws to devastate cardboard and block cityscapes were a regular occurrence on days when nothing was good on TV. He was also never short on praise for his kids in either dimension, though Mabel especially. Dipper was no doubt just like his mother, and every bit as sharp as she must have been at his age, but Mabel was his own pocket sized mad scientist in training. As quickly as she’d picked up his craft there was no doubt in his mind that one day she’d be on television with remote controlled vending machine robots launching soda cans at each other in pneumatic powered duels on some bizarre, but insanely popular show on the Uncovery Channel.

Considering the fact that they were born just five minutes apart from each other (Mabel had them triple check to be sure) and despite the striking similarities to their parents they were even more like each other; it wasn’t hard to conclude that Dipper and Mabel were supposed to be either be the same person, or twins, which all things considered, sort of made them kind of like the same person anyway. They preferred the latter theory. Therefor nothing was more sacred than twin time; a fact which Dipper had been neglecting as of late. Perhaps if he hadn’t taken up more and more of his time obsessing over a certain red haired employee of his great uncle, he wouldn’t have a golf club aimed at his namesake birthmark.

This particular afternoon saw Dipper and Mabel in their attic bedroom of the Mystery shack, working away at their respective hobbies. Their duties in the gift shop and mystery tour had all been fulfilled earlier in the day, since the only two tours were both before noon. Mabel had started on the patterns of a new sweater design, and was planning out which circuit board and LED switches would need to go where. Her hair dryer could occasionally be heard when she needed to heat shrink some wires together. She preferred it to electrical tape since she’d wind up wearing her creations. Dipper meanwhile, had taped together several sheets of printer paper and had been slaving away on a project of his own and hadn’t moved from his spot on the floor or looked away from the paper in hours. The only two exceptions had been to rummage through one or another How-To guides on the internet for ideas from self proclaimed experts on courting women.

“Okay, but if step nine is going to be ‘talk to her like a normal person’ then maybe I should come up with another list for some acceptable topics of conversation. I mean, if I find out she actually likes Monstermon then I could totally talk about that for a while, but what are the chances? That’s definitely gotta be its own step. I mean, one of those movies is coming out soon, so we could maybe go see that or something. Like, together. I mean, it wouldn’t be a date or anything. It’s just two friends going to a movie at the same time and probably going in her car together. Oh god, we’d be alone for the entire trip…Okay. that has to go on the list. Unless she thinks it’s kid stuff that is. Okay, definitely can’t come off as a kid. I mean, step eighteen is to use deodorant everywhere, so that’s covered. And she’s gonna smell great…she always smells great…Okay, definitely replacing number ten with that. I mean, girls probably love hearing that they smell good, right? Hey, Mabel, what do you- WOAH!”

It was at that moment his external monologue ended as he barely ducked under a nine iron that might’ve otherwise taken his head off. That is if it’d been in sync with his reality. The chances of its ghostly form actually doing any damage were slim to none, but his adrenaline hadn’t made that connection.  
“Holy crap, Mabel! What the heck!? Are you trying to kill me?!”  
The club dropped from her hands and clattered on the wooden slats in front of her, though for Dipper it vanished into thin air before hitting the floor. Mabel dropped to her knees seconds later, clutching her arms around her chest.  
“Woah. Did-did I miss something?”  
“Yes, Dipper! Me! I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past half hour! I-I thought you couldn’t hear me! Or-or see me! Dipper, I thought I was alone! I was practically screaming your name and you never even looked up! I waved my hands in front of your face! I yelled in your ears! That was the third time I’d swung that club too!”  
“Oh, Jeeze, I’m so sor-”  
“And you were just ignoring me! For some dumb obsession! You tuned me out!”  
“I’m..Jeeze, Mabes. I’m so sorry.”  
The reality of what he’d been doing sunk in as Mabel became a bit more solid, less ethereal, as he focused on her. Memories from what must have been seconds or minutes before flooded his mind. It had seemed like someone quite far away had been calling his name but he’d thought nothing of it. Dipper knelt down in front of her, but quickly decided that splinters in his knees were unpleasant, and shifted to sit instead. He opened his mouth to speak, but her voice came out first.  
“Are you going to forget me, Dip? Are we going to get older and talk less and less until you can’t even see me anymore?”  
“What? No!”  
“But You’ll do anything to get her attention. I can see that, you know. You’ll even break into a haunted convenience store for her.”  
“I mean…it worked out, y'know?”  
“Only because the ghosts happened to be weirdo grandparent ghosts. Weirdo grandparent ghosts that like embarrassing girly dances.”

“I…you’re right.” He sighed, tossing the list aside. “I’ve being doing that hyper focusing thing again, haven’t I?”  
Mabel had brought her knees up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them, the collar of her sweater pulled up to her nose.  
“It was worse this time, Dip. Back at home it’d only be homework or one of your dumb books, and it never really scared me since you could always hear me if I really tried.”  
As hard as she’d fought for his attention, for however long it took for her to be desperate enough to resort to ghostly violence against him, he thought it was a bit odd that she wouldn’t look him in the eyes now.

“I’m…Jeeze, I’m really sorry, Mabes.”  
“No…It’s not your fault, Dip. I know you can’t help it. I just freaked out. I’m sorry.” She sniffled and sighed.  
“Hey, no. You were right the first time. Twin time is sacred. I polluted it with hormones.”  
“I prefer the word 'bespoiled’.”  
“That….actually is a very good word.”  
“But seriously, brother of mine, I don’t wanna keep you from drooling over Wendy.” Her tone seemed if not more cheerful, then at least resolute.  
“Drool? I don’t drool. Who says I’ve been drooling?”  
“Relax so I can reassure you, okay?”  
“Reassuring is good…seriously though, I haven’t actually been drool-”  
“Dipper!”  
“Sorry! Chilling!”

“Good. I just don’t ever want to lose you, okay? You’re my other me. You’re too important to me to lose, okay? So that biz scares me. And, I mean, we don’t normally get this much twin time. At home they know to watch us. So we shouldn’t waste this opportunity, okay?”  
Dipper’s face reflected in order, shame, embarrassment and finally after accepting the mild reprimand, a warm, glowing happiness, turning a wistful smile to his sister.  
“What would I do without you? Don’t answer that.”  
“I don’t even wanna think about that. Maybe you could talk to me about this stuff while you’re thinking about it so you don’t hyper focus so much?”  
“I dunno. It’s still kinda embarrassing. Girl stuff, you know?”  
“Yeah, but- I mean, we can share anything, right?”  
“….You know what? You’re right. Just go easy on me, okay? I’m not great with these 'things’.”  
“Well, no bluh, Dipdop. I’ve only known you for our whole lives. But I have a secret that might help.”  
“Wh- Really? What is it!?”  
“I’m a girl, dumb-dumb.”  
“Oh.”  
“Did you actually forget!?”  
“Well, I dunno. Maybe?”  
“You are so lucky I can’t smack-a-you-face!” She shook her fist at him with fake menace.  
“Wh-haha-What even was that?”  
“I dunno. Are we good, though?”  
“Yeah. When it’s twin time, it’s twin time.”  
Mabel breathed out a huge sigh and nodded enthusiastically, looking much brighter than she had a moment ago.  
“Totally, but we can also have friends and even crushes outside of twin time. But We’ll try to leave most of that jank outside, okay?”  
“Yeah, Mabes. That sounds good to me. Twins?”  
“Twins.”

They mirrored each other in an overly complicated high five routine that found them both standing up, spinning around, and eventually falling back down again, laughing.  
“Soooo… what do we do now?” She asked, propping herself up on her elbows.  
“Well, I guess we re-commit to twin time. From now on we should make sure we get the best out of this trip and spend as much time together as we-”  
Of course situations like this seem to have their own sort of self awareness, because at that moment, a Great Uncle Stan flung open the door with excitement, halting the conversation mid thought.

“Hey, Kid! Guess what! We’re gonna have a party in the Shack tomorrow night!”  
If he hadn’t already been on the floor, Dipper would have fallen all over himself in surprise. As it was he made a spirited effort at doing so regardless.  
“Wh- A, a party?”  
“Yeah, you know, I figured it’s been a couple weeks and I’ve gotten some good work outta ya, but you should probably meet some more kids your own age, and it’s a great excuse to fleece some rubes. You can learn first hand, and I won’t even charge for the lesson! …Probably.”  
“I-I mean that’s real nice of you but-”  
“Yeah! It is! So after work tomorrow, you, Soos and Wendy are gonna set it up, and if you do a good job I won’t even charge you exmission! You won’t get a better deal than that!”  
“Exmission?” His face contorted in puzzlement.  
“Yeah. It’s like admission, only it’s for getting back out. That’s how ya really get 'em. Make 'em wanna come in, but sooner or later everyone’s gotta go back home! Or else you can charge 'em rent too! I’m pretty brilliant, actually.”  
“Yeah, not another mind like yours in this plane of existence, that’s for sure…”  
“I choose to take that as a compliment since it wasn’t under your breath, but watch it kid, or I will charge you rent. Here, take these flyers and get 'em copied. You can either go down to the copier store, which Soos, I’m sure, will be more than willing to help with-”  
Down the stairs and hallway below came a shout of “Dood! Did I hear 'copier store’?!”

“Yeah….anyway. Either go to the copier store or you can use the one in my office. Either way it’s ten cents a page, but the one in my office may or may not make paper and ink based clones of any person it scans. Y'know, fair warning. Don’t run out the toner If you go with that one, and I’d better not catch a platoon of pre-pubescent clones running around the shack or they each have to pay admission out of your pocket. Anyway, dinner’s ready in a half hour. If you’re gonna be late again, you’d better tell Soos. He’s staying over for Dinner tonight and he’ll finish it all otherwise….and probably even if you do let’m know. He gets forgetful when he’s hungry…So I guess don’t be late! There’s no such thing as leftovers with him around. A real garbage disposal on legs.” Stan shuddered visibly in recollection.  
The door slammed back behind him upon his exit, and a loud, energetic pounding of feet could be heard down the stairs immediately after. Dipper turned to Mabel, who was holding one of her own copies of the flier, staring at it with stars in her eyes. She was nearly vibrating with the possibilities. He waited for her own interaction to end and he could see her hugging a pair of legs and a hand ruffled her hair before she turned back to him.

“So, that twin time…”  
“It’s okay, Dipper. It can’t be every second of every day. Besides I bet this is going to be a blast! I can whip up an eighties outfit that’ll blow that party wide open! And you can even ask Wendy to dance with yooouuu!”  
Clearly he hadn’t considered that yet. His expression became hopeful almost instantaneously. Though it seemed to switch between excitement and nausea every few seconds.  
“I could certainly modify the list with that end goal in mind, yeah! Okay, I’m in! Hey, if Stan was serious about that copier making clones out of people, I could probably get them to help me- They could at least get Robbie out of the way- I mean I’ve literally seen ghosts and Manotaurs so he totally could be serious about it- But why would he even tell me about that-? I mean that’s a lot of reaponsibility to lay on a kid and-”  
When he finally paused for breath Mabel interjected.  
“Dipper, you already get in your own way enough as it is. Imagine if you had nine other yous to trip over. Besides, you know they always betray each other in end in the movies.”  
“Well, I mean I- yeah. I can’t justify that. I’d betray me too for a chance to dance with Wendy.”  
“It’s okay, Brorrito supreme. If you have to use your list to be confident around girls I can help at least make sure it isn’t totally twitterpated.”  
“…You’ve been hanging around old man Mcgucket again, haven’t you?”  
“He’s got such great olde timey vocabulary! Did you know he once built an eighty ton shame bot?”  
“I …actually believe every word of that.”  
“Oh, banjo polish!”  
“Beginning to lose confidence in your list editing skills…”  
“Oh, donkey spittle!”  
“Mabel!”  
“Oh, relax Dipper. Remember. Girl?” She indicated herself with a thumb. “I think I have a certain natural advantage here?”  
“I’m not sure if you’re the same species of girl…”  
“Dipper. You were literally arguing with yourself over the advantages of sharing Monstermon strategies with her.”  
“Is…is that not good?”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

In time she was able to convince him to condense the list for Wendy in particular down to 10 steps, which he was more than capable of carrying around in a single pocket. She’d insisted on a set of general rules that he could apply to himself on any given day. 'Wear deodorant every day, all the time, no exceptions’ was probably going to be one of the more useful ones she’d thought. She had never actually smelled Dipper, which was a strange thought in and of itself, but she had smelled other nervous sweaty boys. Quite against her will, actuslly, and the advice could definitely carry over.

The rest of the night had passed more or less without incident. The Sooses had saved them enough food, and after dinner he was absolutely delighted to take them to the copier store; even regaling them with his own enthusiastic motto for the place. Which was then followed by a hypothetical theme song and t-shirt logo that he’d drawn up. After that particular field trip was done with, the twins really did get down to some well needed bonding time until well after midnight.

The following day was more of the same. Tour groups had come and gone. The occasional local for one reason or another graced the gift shop to buy some of the eclectic and highly marked up merchandise; though they were often told they were receiving the 'local business discount’ depending on how gullible they were found to be. Just before two in the afternoon the Shack was closed for business and party prep was under way. Soos took care of most of the heavy lifting and installations. He’d set up a dance floor, sound system and lighting in practically no time at all. Even Wendy did the occasional bit of work here and there. Although in all fairness she did take as long as possible to do each little task. Within a couple hours the walls were covered and concessions tables were set up. To its credit, the old shack cleaned up pretty nicely, all things considered anyway.  
The work actually went pretty easily for the kids. Dipper’s few transgressions not withstanding, the twins had developed a skill for keeping one eye and one ear open for the other, no matter what they were doing. They had a way of talking to each other even when they were with other people. It wasn’t that hard, really, if something they wanted to say fit into the conversation they’d been having, they’d make sure to look into the eyes of the other when they said it. Anyone else in the room with the one who’d spoken wouldn’t have any idea what’d happened. In that way Dipper and Mabel passed a few hours no problem until it was time to get dressed. They’d mostly been tasked with things like blowing up balloons or stocking the snack and drink tables so they were mostly on their own anyway.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“So, tie, yay or nay?” Dipper modeled for Mabel, demonstrating what he looked like both with and without the accessory.  
“Definitely nay, Dippitydoo.” She replied as she fixed her own attire, going full blown 80’s. “You’re trying to impress Wendy, right?”  
“Well, yeah.”  
“And your hands get sweaty and you get fidgety when you’re nervous, right?”  
“uhh….Well, yeah.” He rubbed the back of his head, looking down and away.  
“So, when you’re drinking pitt and spill it on your tie, how’s that gonna look?”  
“Hey, a little confidence couldn’t hurt, you know?”  
“Yeah. Knowing yourself is also pretty helpful. Go with the bow tie, Dip. You still get to look fancy, and your shirt will hide any pitt stains. The vest will hide the other kind.”  
“Hey! ….well..Okay, you’re not wrong.”  
“Yer ding dang right I’m not. Also, do me a favor, try to go without the list, okay? She was totally barfing dizzy string all over you earlier. She’s a pretty chill girl.”  
“Ehh, I’ll try, but girls are easily the scariest of all creatures.”  
“Hey, little bro, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Wendy’s a nice person. Worse comes to worse and she’ll still be nice to you, but if it works out, you had an even better summer than you thought!”  
“Hey, that actually, I mean aside from the 'little brother’ bit, that’s actually, I mean…thanks, Mabel. That actually feels a lot better. You’re right.”  
“Of course I am.” She turned to face him, her outfit finally put together. “You just be you and it’ll be awesome. Just have a good time tonight, okay?”  
“Yeah, sis. You too.” The two looked each other up and down, appraising their outfit choices. Dipper’s attire was fairly standard for him; an orange shirt with a blue vest and khaki shorts. Though the untrained eye might not notice that the vest was brand spankin’ new and never worn before. The shorts and t-shirt were also freshly cleaned and the cherry on top was the bow tie Mabel had recommended.  
Her outfit was of course far more Mabelesque and genre specific. Besides her normal favorite orange skirt, she was decked out in yellow leg warmers, an over sized purple sweater over a red tank top. Her ears glittered with glittery blue triangular earrings she’d made herself and a red ribbon held in her voluminous brown locks in a fashionably enormous bow.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand your fascination with the eighties, but it is a good look on you.”  
“It’s literally the best decade ever.” She snarked. “But hey. Promise me you’ll have fun, okay? Try not to get too caught up in 'winning’ or 'losing’ a girl, okay?”  
“You know what? I think I will, Mabes. You all ready?”  
“This girl’s ready to party until her face melts!”  
“Eww. Twin time after the party though, right?”  
“You got it Brocarina of time.”

Needing no more words, they placed their hands together and crossed through the threshold of two identical doorways, down two identical sets of stairs and through two identical curtains. Each nodded silently to the other and turned to face the dance floor. They allowed a peculiar thing to happen to them just then. When they needed to let in the world around them and it was okay to let their sibling fade into the background it was almost as though their eyes uncrossed and the world re-focused as their ears popped, taking in fresh new sounds from their own world. The synthesized instrumentals blared in from the sound system all around the first floor of the shack and it became somehow more present when they came into this new world.

Dipper turned to see his Great Uncle Stan dancing through the same said curtain in some outfit that was better off left in the seventies he thought.   
“Yadadee, ya-da-doodee. Hey, Kid. You ready to scam some suckers?”  
“Uhh, yeah, Grunkle Stan, I guess. But How exactly does throwing a party do that for us?”  
“Ahh, the ins and outs of Rube Fleecing 101 and 102 at the side of the master. Okay, this is a good one. To start, you got any questions you want me to answer first?”  
“Uhh, yeah. First, I could have sworn you’d have had me outside selling tickets or something? How exactly are you making money? I mean you had to spend a bunch on these party supplies.”  
“Ha! Good instinct. Well, to start, the sound system and lights and all that didn’t cost me a dime! I won 'em off of an old buddy years ago. Word to the wise, never bet anything you’re afraid to lose, kid. Cuz some huckster like me knows how ta pocket aces. Second is always make your money work for you. I coulda sold the stuff years ago, assuming the cops weren’t lookin’ for it, but whipping 'em out every now and then to make some quick cash after the heat dies down is a better strategy. Liquidating it is always an option later.”  
“Why would the cops be looking for this stuff?”  
“Anyway, step three. Yeah, I could have some kids running a ticket booth outside, but that’s got its own problems. Nah, what I got is way better. You see the front door?”  
“Uhh, yeah.”  
“Notice anything different about it?”  
“You’ve got some big metal box hooked up to it?”  
“Exactly. That’s the Excursionator Stan-thousand and one. In other words I rigged up an old coin machine I 'acquired’ a few years back. Basically the door doesn’t open unless someone puts cash in it. I’m charging fifteen bucks to get out.”  
On the dance floor a pair of teenagers screamed about only having thirteen dollars between them.  
“Anyway, There’s one on the outside too, and they’ve got tilt sensors. They scream if someone tries to knock the cash out of 'em….and it’s loud. Trust me on that one.”  
“…Yeah, okay. I guess that makes sense. But you said this was 101 and 102. Is there more to it than that?”  
“Ha! Sharp! You’re gonna be good at this one day, kid. Well, as for the food and drink, we humble inhabitants of she shack can eat for a week offa the leftovers.”  
“The pitt cola and marshmallows, you mean?”  
“No, kid, look around. You see the big guy in the flannel? Looks kinda like a hairy mountain in plaid? That’s Manly Dan. You let some of the locals in for free cuz they’re loose with the good stuff. Those kegs he keeps hovering around are filled with meat!”  
“Eww, how? …Why!?”  
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to. Anyway, he leaves the leftover barrel meat and he doesn’t have to pay to get in or out. He gets to feel special and stays loyal to the local honest business partner, and we get free meat! Trust me, it works out. Plus, if any of the delivery trucks in town happen to come up light on soda and snack food, nobody really notices since everybody got their fill at the big party the night before. Plus Durland and Blubs get in for free too, so the wheels stay greased.”  
“Well, that’s both insightful and kinda terrifying.”  
“I know! Ain’t it great?!” Stan waved his arms around emphatically at his exclamation.  
“Yeah, sure. So what exactly do you need me for?”  
“Kid. You’ve got the most important job of all!”  
“Wh-what, really?” His face brightened at first, then contorted into a cringe when he realized what he might be asked to do.  
“Yeah. You get to soften my image in the town! You mingle around and let people know you’re my grand nephew and what a great guy I am and I guarantee you I’ll be getting more business for even weeks still after you go back home. Believe me, it’s the little things that make the most difference in the long run.”  
“So….basically I get to go party?”  
“Advice from an old scam artist. Don’t ever let the guy who’s paying you get the idea that he’s being too generous. Now get out there and make some friends before I have you clean the bathrooms. Which by the way, are five dollars to get in. Meanwhile the porta-potties outside are free. Do the math on that yourself.”  
“Thanks Grunkle Stan!” He didn’t waste a minute more on conversation with his relative before trundling off down onto the dance floor to look for Wendy.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Wow! You’ve got an animal on your body! I’m Mabel.”  
A husky voiced but friendly girl seated next to Mabel fed another kernel of popcorn to the scaly companion on her shoulder and motioned to introduce herself and the much smaller bespectacled girl to her left.  
“Hi, I’m Grenda, and this is Candy.” The slightly more bashful Candy waved to Mabel, her fingers clattering with tableware.“  
"Why do you have forks taped to your fingers?” Mabel’s eyes were wide as Candy dug her paw into bowl of popcorn on Grenda’s lap, coming back up with puffy white snacks on the end of each fork.  
“Improvement of human being.” was the stilted, but proud reply.  
“I found my people.” Mabel reflected as Soos announced a contest over the speakers and held up a glittery golden plastic crown as a prize. The trio gasped in awe until a matching, if more expensively dressed set of girls, approached the podium. The leader removed her sunglasses and demanded the prize.  
“Party crown? I’ll take that. Thank you very muuuch.” The bratty blonde checked her reflection in a compact she’d flipped open for dramatic effect while motioning absently with her free hand.  
“Who’s that?” Mabel questioned, half in awe of the other girl’s confidence. Candy responded first while adjusting her glasses with a beforked hand.  
“The most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest.”  
“I always feel bad about myself around her!” Grenda exclaimed.  
“I bet she’s just misunderstood.” Mabel reasoned. “I’ll go introduce myself. She’s probably just got that image. I’ll be right back.”  
“I-I can’t just give you the crown. It’s sort of a competition thing.” Soos held the cheap prize out of reach as though it were solid gold. Taking the opportunity Pacifica snatched up the microphone at his station to address the crowd.  
“Who’s gonna compete against me?” She turned to face the trio. “Fork girl? Lizard lady?” She and her cronies delighted in a villainous laugh that would have been right at home in one of Mabel’s favorite movies; which made her set her jaw and storm over, ready for a fight. In Mabel’s mind, however, all but the most serious of transgressions could be faced with a smile and she cheerily accepted the unvoiced challenge Pacifica had initiated by specifically not mentioning her.  
“Hey! I’ll compete! I’m Mabel.” A friendly hand was extended for Pacifica to shake, which she ignored, hands on her hips.  
“That sounds like a fat old lady’s name.”  
“….I’ll take that as a compliment!”   
“May the better partier win.” Pacifica snapped her fingers in the air above her head, then she and her minions danced backwards into the crowd. Mabel never turned down a challenge but even she had to admit to feeling a bit intimidated by that. It didn’t show on her face though. If she was going to win, she was going to commit to this.  
“Nice meeting you! ….She’s going down.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hey! Dip-dude! It looks like we’re bow tie buddies, eh? eh?” Wendy motioned back and forth to their matching accessories.  
“Ha! Yeah! It looks like we are! I owe you one, Mabel.”  
“Huh?”  
“Oh! Nothing, just- say! Here’s a casual question. What’s your favorite type of snack food?!” He blurted out nervously, realizing his previous statement wasn’t quite under his breath.  
“Ho-Oh, man. I can’t just, like, choose one.”   
“Ha! Yeah! Mine too!”  
“Wait. What?”  
“Umm, so, hey, how about I go get us some popcorn and marshmallows?”  
“Ha. Sure dude. The old man’s cheap but I gotta admit, those are both pretty addictive, man.”  
“Ha! Y-yeah!” Dipper cleared his throat then rushed off towards the snack table, trying to reassure himself mentally that the pep talk he’d gotten from Mabel really did apply to him.   
“Hey! You there! Servant boy. I’ll have a pitt cola.” Fingers snapped for his attention. Dipper’s head spun to see his very own Pacifica Northwest, checking something in her cellphone, refusing to meet his eye.  
“Uhh…no thanks?” It was the only response he could think of before running off to the snack table. Pacifica and her two cronies watched on, amazed  
Her jaw clenched as they saw him pick up two cups but instead of soda for her he shoveled in popcorn and marshmallows before running off in a different direction to avoid them.  
“Ha! What happened to 'watch me bend this pleb to my will’, Paz?” One of the mean spirited girls had spoken causing them both to laugh at the remark before their leader spun on them, furious.   
“Not another word out of you! I’ll handle this. the two of you go mingle, or whatever it is you do when I’m not around. Nobody brushes Pacifica Northwest off!” Angry though she was, she maintained her control by staring the other two girls down as they slinked off, rather than charge out after her target. Though for a moment she wished she hadn’t. since she’d lost sight of him. The other two were out of sight though so she felt no shame in charging off after him, ready to, in her mind, put the little lowlife back in his place.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hey! Soos! You gotta see this” A whisper rasped out from behind Soos’ sound stage.  
“Inner thoughts? Is that you? That fortune teller was right! You have developed a life of your own!”   
“Wha-? Dude, no Soos. Back here.” Wendy jabbed a finger into the side of his leg, revealing her hiding spot to him.  
“Oh, Hey Wen-Dood. What’re you doing back there?”  
“I’m hiding from Dipper. The little guy has been trying to get my attention all night. It’s really cute, but check it out. He’s got his own little admirer and I kinda wanna give that a shot.” She pointed out on to the dance floor towards him. Dipper was searching aimlessly through the crowd with a cup in each hand. He was casting his head from side to side, obviously searching for someone. Just twenty or so feet behind him, however, was a girl his age, dressed in some expensive looking clothes, storming after him. Though she still hadn’t managed to catch him after several turns through the crowd. She probably didn’t want it to be known that she was pursuing him.  
“Aww, Dood. That’s pretty cute. You think I should put in a slow dance when she catches him?”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hey! You! You don’t get to just blow me off!” Pacifica jabbed an accusatory finger towards Dipper’s chest when she’d finally caught him. “Just who do you think you are?”  
“Oh, you?” He sighed. “Are we really doing this?”  
“Excuse me?” She tapped her foot impatiently, awaiting an explanation.  
“Okay, fine. Sherlock Holmes it is.” He looked through her, appraising the girl. “Okay. You wanna know who I think I am? How about who I think you are?”  
“I’m Pacifica Northwest!”  
“That’s nice, I’m sure. But let me tell you what I see. You’ve got sunglasses on your head but it’s been dark for hours and would have been dark when you got here. So you obviously want people to see that you think you’re too good to be here. Those other two girls that were with you both had outfits that looked kinda like yours, only cheaper. You wear it like a uniform to intimidate people when you travel together. But I notice that your clothes are all different shades of one color, so you stand out and walk in front, right? The obvious leader. You need people to see you leading, which is probably why you keep them around. I don’t see any brand names on your clothes which means they’re either really cheap or really expensive. I’m gonna guess expensive, looking at everything else, and the valley girl affectation with done up hair in rural Oregon? Lemme guess. Their daddies work for your daddy so they have to be nice to you? Or something like that any way, right?” She was aghast , so he plowed on. “And speaking of them, I notice that they’re not with you. So I surmise that they’ve been sent off. You were probably supposed to boss me around before and I embarrassed you. So you didn’t want them to see you putting in the effort to make me obey you. Or maybe you weren’t sure you’d be able to, so you really didn’t want them seeing that. So what I see is that the poor little rich girl who’s used to always getting what she wants by treating people like garbage is throwing a little tantrum because she met someone she couldn’t intimidate. That’s just sad. Why did you even come here? to 'be seen’? or to 'be seen being seen’? Or whatever it is you rich people do. So yeah, have a nice night or whatever. Oh, and the Pitt cola’s over there in case you needed directions.” He motioned with one of his cups and turned to walk away, smiling to himself.  
Few things could stun Pacifica Northwest into silence. In fact, before Dipper could take more than a few steps away she spoke. The crowd around them had been silenced by Dipper’s speech, so her voice carried, though the rage in it probably would have carried it directly into his brain just the same.  
“Oh, really? Is that who I am?” Her voice trembled a bit, but its timbre was deadly serious and froze him in place. “Well, how about you, mister bow tie and pine tree hat? You’ve got a lot to say about me, someone that you don’t even know, and you really are impressed with yourself and your little detective act, aren’t you? You aren’t anything special, bow tie. Well I know or know about everyone in this town and you’re not from here. So I’m guessing you’re here for the summer because you were getting into trouble at home. You probably either don’t have any friends at all or it’s just you and the second biggest loser in your home town. Maybe you’re even pretty smart where you’re from. But that’s all you’ve got going for you. You feel pretty big talking down to me, but I bet you couldn’t talk to a girl you liked if your life depended on it. You’d probably have to make some stupid to-do list. Like, "put on deodorant” and “pretend to be confident”. But the truth is, the ugly truth, is that you’re a sweaty weirdo who’d be lucky if somebody even had a conversation with you for more than three minutes without running away. That’s what happened, isn’t it? Ha! I’ll bet it is. You were looking for someone weren’t you? I see two cups there. But she ran away, didn’t she? Well. Have fun with that.“  
She stood there and stared at his back for what must have been a much shorter time than it felt like. The slow dance that had started after she’d confronted him had only just ended when he finally walked off. Finally aware that she was the center of attention in a way she wasn’t prepared for, she too left the dance floor, trying to preserve some of her dignity.

 

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"Always means foreveeer. Alwaaaaaaaaaaaaaays” Pacifica’s perfectly trained voice synced with the music of the karaoke machine. So much so the extended note seemed almost to pull the machine into holding the note longer than it should have. The crowd’s energy rose up as her song concluded and they roared with applause.  
“I used to sing like that…before my voice changed.” Grenda reflected. Pacifica dismounted the sound stage and shoved the microphone into Mabel’s arms.  
“Try and top that. Oh, and Grenda, you sound like a professional wrestler.” Laughing at her own quip, she flipped her hair over her shoulder and walked away. Mabel realized it was probably a move to psyche her out, and she wasn’t going to win.   
“I wanna put her in a headlock and make her feel pain!” Miming out her fantasy, Grenda was only pulled out of it when Mabel spoke up.  
“It’s not over 'till it’s over, sisters! Watch this!” Pacifica was good, but Mabel had her own tricks. She leaped onto the platform Soos used for a stage and demanded a crowd pleasing eighties ballad. She gave herself fully into 'Don’t Start Unbelieving’ when the music came on. She didn’t have the same training or genetic engineering, or demonic pacts that Pacifica probably had going for her, but what she did have was an understanding of human nature. Every Karaoke machine in the world has that song loaded on it. It doesn’t matter the language, or even the time period. Likely thousands of years in the future that song will survive on the playlist, and some suspect that it may have even existed before the song itself was ever written and recorded. She and her two new friends swayed with the music as she belted it out. Her style was wild and exuberant and fed off of the crowd. Even though she missed some of her song queues and the flip she attempted saw her landing flat on her face, Pacifica might as well have been a warm up act. One girl even swung from the disco ball that always finds its way into such parties.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dipper sat against a wall for some time after his confrontation with Pacifica, reflecting on what had been said. Time passed, though he didn’t know how much. The pace of the music changed a few times. Finally he set his mind and looked up. Finding Wendy hadn’t been hard now that he didn’t need to find her. She was sitting on the shop’s couch and chatting with Robbie, who for some reason had brought his guitar out despite the house music. He looked down and he was still holding the two red plastic cups so he lurched up and strolled over to the pair, coming up from behind. He reached over their shoulders and handed over the snacks.  
“Oh, hey Dip. I haven’t seen you around in a while. You havin’ fun, dude?” He knew it was a pleasantry. There’s no way she didn’t at least hear about the argument.   
“Yeah. I’m good.” Without another word he flashed her a quick smile and walked off. She didn’t try to keep him. He knew she wouldn’t and there was no holding that against her. He found himself back at the snack table. There were still plenty of Pitt bottles left over. Stan really must have knocked over a delivery van. Well, that was more to his advantage now so there was nothing else to it. He poured himself a cup and downed it almost instantly, mimicking the same action he’d seen adults do with liquor in movies. It was purely psychosomatic but it did feel like it helped. The rest of the bottle was emptied into two cups and he renewed his search, though this time with a different target in mind.  
It took longer than he thought it might. For a while dipper thought she might’ve gone home, but a look out the window towards the back porch showed that to be untrue. There was no cash machine on the rear door and it wasn’t locked, so technically anyone could leave through it if they wanted, but there were no lights on back there. He supposed that was a clever strategy of the old man and found himself grateful for the old grump for at least the third time in the night. Pacifica was sitting with her knees up towards her chest, completely alone.

“Hey.” The door clicked behind him and he sat down next to her, setting down the soda he’d brought for her in between them, sipping out of his own cup.  
“Hey.” Her cheek was on her knee and her face turned away from him. The silence stretched between them, each not wanting to speak, and dreading what the other might have to say. Dipper held his breath and counted his heart beats until he lost track.  
“So….I uh, I got you a pitt.”  
“Yeah…thanks.” He could hear a hitch in her voice when she spoke.  
Well, now I know I screwed up. He thought.  
“Look, I-”  
“You’re right about me.”  
“Wait, what?”  
“You hit the nail on the head, bow tie!” She turned to face him. here eyes were touched with pink, though her makeup was still perfect. Probably that expensive stuff Mabel was always going on about. “My family owns this town.”  
“Like…the mob?”  
“No, like in property deeds. You really aren’t from around here. I always kinda thought that the lower classes looked up to us, and wanted to be like us…no I didn’t. Not really. I think I always kinda knew they didn’t but no one has ever spoken to a Northwest like you did. But then no one stood up for me. Some of those jerks even laughed at me! How dare they?! I’m Pacifica Elise Northwest!”  
“I think I might’ve crossed the line in there”   
“You think?”  
“Well, I mean, you were right about me too.”  
“I know.”  
“Okay, well that’s not usually how that one goes…”  
“You’re name is Dipper, right? Dipper Pines?”  
“Uh, yeah. You-?”  
“I looked you up” She held up her cellphone lazily. “At first I think I wanted to dig up some dirt on you but…”  
“But?”  
“You were right. Okay? Is that what you want to hear?!” She was determined to stare him down, tears or no tears. Who was he to say anything about it!?  
“Not really?”  
“I-! …I’m sor- I’m saw. Sour-ee? Is- is that how you say it?”  
“Uh, y-yeah. I’m sorry too?”  
“Be quiet and let me finish. Look. I tried to get some back up, but even Brittany and Daniella… Well they’re going to be sorry anyway. They were laughing at me! They tried to hide it, but I could see! But they shut up real quick when I-”  
“Hey, hey! Woah! I mean, everybody gets laughed at every now and then. You don’t have to like have them killed or anything.”  
“You don’t know what it’s like being a Northwest. We don’t Get laughed at. I’m supposed to be perfect…”  
“Okay, that’s sorta telling…Look, if it helps we can go back in there and you can dump soda on my head or something?”  
“Why- What do you want?” Suspicion crept across her face, with something else mixed in. Resignation, perhaps; as though she were mentally balancing bribe money already.  
“Want? Nothing, look, I’m just- I don’t know what came over me back there. I was a jerk. Just, I dunno, something told me to attack so I did, but it was wrong.”  
“Why do you care?” Her tone no longer had a hint of the sarcasm that she could normally paint any phrase with.   
“I’m just, I mean, like, this clearly messed you up and I don’t even really know you, so I’ve got no business hurting you.”  
“As if You could hurt a Northwest. I-”  
“Hey! Okay, well if you don’t want -” He pressed his hands into his knees to help him stand up before she caught his arm.  
“Wait. I…I’m not good at this, okay? Those two were always more like employees than fr- en-ends? Frands?”  
“Okay, we’re going to have to work on that vocabulary a bit. That’s kinda scary.”  
“Whatever.” Pacifica turned away from him, crossing her arms and huffed. Though he couldn’t help but notice that she was glancing out of the corner of her eyes towards him.  
“How about-” He slid down to the step beneath where she sat and scooted up a bit closer so they could face each other more comfortably. “How about you tell me what it’s like to be Pacifica Northwest? I don’t have anywhere to be.” Perhaps it was the honesty in his eyes that convinced her, or the desperation that’d apparently leaked out of her with his words. When a friendly hand tentatively found her knee Pacifica Elise Northwest actually felt comfortable opening up to another person for the first time in her life. She’d even been coached on how to handle the therapist that the guidance councilors at school insisted she see. Mother had seen to that. White satin gloved fingers curled around Dipper’s.  
“Do…do you mean it?”  
“Yeah. I think we could both use a friend. So why not? I don’t even turn into a pumpkin for another two hours.”  
“In this town that could be for real.”  
“Oh, yeah, I noticed. Sorry. For real, I want to hear you out. No judgments. I think you must be a good person or else you wouldn’t care so much. And I don’t even know anybody from this town so you already know I wouldn’t have anyone to tell, even if I wanted to.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Mabel skipped and worm-hopped across the dance floor. Her hair flowing out behind her and her bow swayed up and down.  
“One more song, doods, then it’s time for the bestowing of the party crown. It’s gonna be the-” an explosion sound rang out through the speakers. “Nailed it.”  
“Pacifica, I just wanna say, whoever wins, it’s been a super fun party.” Mabel extended her hand in a show that there were no hard feelings.  
“Awww, it thinks it’s gonna win. Hey, did you hear that?” Mabel cupped a hand to her ear to find the mystery aound Pacifica aaked about. “People clapping for the weird girls? Yeah. Me neither.” With that, a smirk, and another toss of her hair Pacifica sauntered off before Mabel could muster a response.  
“It’s cool, the crowd always loves a plucky underdog. I’ve got this in the bag. Then she’ll come to her senses.” Mabel said to herself.  
The song came and went. Soos finished up with some half memorable B-side track from a band that was only as memorable as a one-hit-wonder. Though nobody could ever really agree on which of their songs was supposed to be their one hit. Probably Darun Darun or maybe The Krack? Whichever it was, the song was over soon enough and the girls were called to the stage.

“Let the party crown voting commence!” Soos reached behind him to the keyboard and hit a button that tolled a boxing bell.   
“Good luck, Mabel” Pacifica glared, spitting out the other girl’s name as though left a bad taste in her mouth.  
“Applaud to vote for Mabel!” Soos held his hand up as an 'applause-o-meter’ and the crowd responded. Grenda cheered her name and the din of the audience response rose and rose until the meter hit the top. “Oh, oh, pretty good.” Mabel’s smile threatened to remove her head if it stretched much farther. This is playing exactly how a movie climax from the best decade ever would go. “And your next contestant, Pacifica.” Brittany and Daniella cheered, and a few scattered fans applauded but it was no where near the level Mabel had achieved. Yes! It’s in the bag! Mabel thought. Until a glare from Pacifica seemed to heat up the audience until they boiled over, clapping out of sheer nervousness from the wrath in the look. 

“Uh oh! A tie! This’s like, never happened before.”   
Well, I guess that’s okay, we can share the crown. Ooh! or maybe we could have a dance off or- Just then a crusty old beard (with a man somewhere underneath it) in patchy brown overalls started cheering and whooping loudly in favor of her rival. The meter that was Soos’ arm ticked over a single notch. “Ladies and gentlemen we- We have a winner…The winner of the contest is…Pacifica Northwest.” Soos dropped the proclamation like a dirty shoe.  
Pacifica, now twenty dollars lighter slipped back into her place on the stage. If anybody had noticed the bribe they weren’t saying anything, nor would they dare. She topped her voluminous blonde coif with the golden plastic trinket.

“Thank you Jorge! Thank you everyone.” her voice had slipped into speech giving mode. Long hours practicing for the various functions she was expected to help her family host meant that she was in no need of a microphone. “Everyone come to the after party on my parents’ boat! Woohoo!” The cheering in response was more genuine than it’d been moments ago. How easily the crowds are placated with anything free Pacifica reflected. This victory was of course just another in a long line of wins for the Northwest family and it was naturally expected of her. Mother and Father would of course be impressed by their daughter’s following. It always helped to be popular. Opportunities opened up that way. She tolerated it when her loving fans decided to carry her out in victory.  
This was definitely not how an eighties movie would end. At least it’s not how any of the ones Mabel liked would end. She could see the disappointment in Candy and Grenda’s expressions. She’d failed her new friends and she’d failed herself. It was all actually pretty fun until she didn’t win. Then it all seemed like work. Deciding to face the music she approached the duo.

“Uchh. Sorry I let you guys down. I understand if you wanna leave.”  
“But then, we would miss the sleepover.” Candy chimed.  
“The what?” Now Mabel was definitely confused. Though Grenda didn’t let that last long.  
“We wanna call our moms and sleep over here with you! You’re like, a total rockstar!”  
“I have magazine boys.” A 'Cool Dude’ glossy cover was produced from Candy’s pack.  
“Really?! You guuuyyys!”  
“Maybe we don’t have as many friends as Pacifica, but we have eachother. And that is pretty good I think.” As if to punctuate her statement Candy adjusted her glasses.  
“Soos! Play another song! This thing’s going all night!”  
“Way ahead of ya, hambone!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I mean, I’m just sayin’ the kid’s obviously tryin’ to get in my girl’s pants and it’s creepy. So, like, I just don’t understand what the fuss is all about. The kid’s a loser.”  
“Robbie, I am NOT your girl and at this point you can count on that never being a thing. He’s a sweet kid! He’s just lonely is all! He’s, like a hundred miles away from home and all you can think about is if he’s a threat to you! Grow up man, and go home. I’ll talk to you later. Maybe.”  
“But, Wendy! Come on!”   
“Out!”  
Robbie Valentino exited in as black a mood as ever. Or at least he tried to, but his exit was somewhat foiled when he had to fumble with some crinkled up dollar bills in the machine. Though once the door opened for him he tried to regain whatever gothy dignity he might’ve had, slung his guitar over his shoulder and hopped on his bike, riding down the gravel path.

“God! That’s what I get for dating anybody from this crazy town!” Wendy bemoaned her fortunes as she topped off a cup from the drink station and started her search for Dipper. She honestly felt bad about playing hide-and-go-Soos with him earlier; especially with how it turned out. Then Robbie came over and that just made it easier to dodge him. All things considered, she felt like she’d been a pretty cruddy friend. Even if he did have a thing for her, it was sweet, and He at least tried to make her feel nice about herself.  
His bedroom was empty, and so were all the other places he might’ve hid in the shack. She was beginning to get worried that she might’ve let him run away or something when the bathrooms and even the exhibit hall were Dipper-less. Though finally when she popped her face up to the rear window the mystery was solved.  
“Oh my god, Soos. Soos! You’ve gotta see this!” She ran over to the DJ podium and dragged the manchild back through the kitchen with her. “Okay, don’t let 'em hear you, but you have got to see this. It’s so cute.”

“You had my interest, but cute? Now you have my attention, Wen-Dood.”  
He pressed his face against the greasy glass to see Dipper and Pacifica chatting and laughing as though they were friends, reunited after years apart. Dipper was miming out some story that looked like he was holding a spear and perhaps fighting with some multiple headed enigma of the forest. Then he started singing Babba, and Pacifica was absolutely enthralled. Her cronies had left at least an hour ago but here she was staring at him like….like..  
“Oh my gosh. That rich-girl dood has a crush on Dippindood! Dood!”  
“I know, right?! Do you think he has any idea?”  
“Hmmm…I don’t know if I’d count on it. Should I tell him?” Soos grabbed for the door handle before Wendy half tackled him away from it.  
“No! Absolutely not! Bare minimum the little guy has a new friend, and he might even learn a thing or two about girls that the rest of this town doesn’t seem to understand.”  
“Woah, I’m sensing some hostilities. Perhaps you could open up to Soos over an icy beverage?”  
“You’re-You’re not hitting on me too, are you, Soos?”  
“Dood. I’m like, twenty-two or something. Don’t worry about it.”  
“Sorry, man. I’m a little shell shocked. Yeah, let’s go get that drink. ….Did you actually forget exactly how old you are though?”  
“Heh, like, I dunno. It happens sometimes.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was approaching midnight when Dipper finally walked through the bedroom door. Mabel had worked herself up over telling him that she’d have to postpone twin time again since Candy and Grenda were spending the night. She nibbled on the sleeve of the night shirt when he lazily yawned, plopped down on his bed and waved at her.  
“Hey sis, you have a good time?”  
“Uh, yeah Dip. It was fun, I guess.”  
“Awesome! Yeah, you were definitely right about just letting go and getting out of my own way.” He flopped back onto his pillow and spread his arms out.  
“Oh hey, well that’s good. Did Wendy actually agree to go out with you?”  
“Huh? Oh, I barely saw her. She looked like she was having fun though. But then I met this other girl.”  
“Ooooh? My bro-bro met a lady? What’s her name!?”  
“Pacifica Northwest.”  
“Oh, yeah, I’ve got one of those.” She groaned. “She is absolutely the-”  
“The best!”  
“W-Wha?”  
“Yeah, I mean. She’s got her rough edges and all that, but once you get to know her she’s actually pretty cool. We talked for hours.”  
“Oh…well. I mean that’s great, bro. I’m glad you had a good time tonight…I-”  
“Yeah! And we’re gonna meet up tomorrow. She said she wanted to come see some of the weird stuff in the woods out here for herself. Finally someone who believes me! Though I may still have to question Stan about that copier thing…”  
“Oh, yeah. Great.” Drawing out the word in an enthusiasm she didn’t really feel, Mabel gave him a thumbs up. “But yeah, about tonight-”  
“Oh yeah, I’m sorry, I totally lost track of time. I’m actually pretty tired.”  
“Well, that’s cool, I guess. I’ve actually got some friends spending the night. They’re gonna be up any minute with some spare blankets…”  
“Oh hey! Great! You made some friends too! That’s awesome Mabel.”  
“Yeah. Awesome.”  
“Well, anyway. Have a good night sis. You’ll have to tell me about them later.”  
Just then the door to the room on her side of reality burst in and the face was instantly filled with excitable preteen girls; a cheerful expression returned to Mabel’s face. Twin time could wait a little longer.


End file.
